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  • Mood: Distressed
Any news of my untimely demise is only a slight exaggeration.  Here's the scoop.  My insurance company has contacted me agian this afternoon and told me that my benefits are indeed going to be canceled as of the end of this month.  This is devastating.  My insurance benefits are already half of what my salary had been, and that salary was $20K less than my prior position.  The insurance company still wants something from a "treating physician" regardless of the fact that what I have can't be treated and no one is treating me for it.  The last time I was at the doctor was January 07 with very high blood pressure.  It was about that time that I stopped taking my BP because the stress over it wasn't worth it.

Stress could kill me.  Literally.  I already have a problem with blood pooling and not circulating properly.  This causes my heart rate to go up.  Add to that the fact that I have 3 liters less blood than I should, and it makes my tachycardia even worse.  When you are under stress, the stress hormones raise your heart rate even further and concentrates blood in your muscles, which makes my heart rate even worse because it is already fighting against pooling problems, volume problems, and now re-direction problems and hormonal stimulation.  It's a recipe for a coffin.

Anyway, I'd appreciate some fervent prayer on this.  And if anyone knows of a good free lawyer, I'd love to hear from you.  I have a huge amount of stress right now.  Not only do I have this on my plate, but I have a teenage son who has hit a rebellious stage, and my mom's cancer recovery has stalled with what appears to be the same kind of symptoms that I have.  She may have developed the same thing.  The good news (if there is a lining to the storm cloud) is that her oncologist may know some doctors in the area that are familiar with the condition.
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Kabuchan Featured By Owner May 4, 2008  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You have my prayers as well, I do hope they help in some small way ... :hug:
jaidaksghost Featured By Owner May 3, 2008  Professional General Artist
in my prayers :pray:
TearsAndThunder Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2008
Daniel, even if there isn't a "treatment" for your condition, you still need to see someone if for no other reason than to have them inform the insurance company that there isn't a treatment.

Also, you should apply for SSD and/or SSI if you haven't already. The paperwork involved is ghastly, but if you qualify for either or both, it's well worth the trouble. When I applied for them, a gentleman at Social Security helped me with the paperwork, which was a big help indeed.

This may sound silly, but I've found for myself that thinking "healthy" thoughts helps. Even little changes in how we view our circumstances can make a world of difference. Our beliefs tend to form our reality, not the other way around I've learned...the hard way.

I'll keep a good thought for you. Brightest blessings. :heart:
djeaton3162 Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2008  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I applied for SSDI in January of 2006, right after my diagnosis. I'm currently scheduled for an appeal in front of a SSDI judge twelve months from now. If/when I do get SSDI benefits, most will go to my long-term disability insurance company as their coverage covers 50% of my salary *after* any other benefits. As such, they have a financial interest in making sure that I get approved for SSDI and are working on my case at no expense to me. It is a crime though that it takes 3.5 years to go through the SSDI process. I seriously believe it is to see how many people get better and/or go back to work.

Positive thoughts, as you mention, are HUGE. One's symptoms may not change, but we *can* change their outlook. The fact that my new health limitations didn't make me angry or depressed had the doctors sending me to a shrink when this first happened. They couldn't really understand how a man of faith could have peace in times of trial. Guess that is what is meant by a "peace that passes all understanding".
TearsAndThunder Featured By Owner May 3, 2008
I should have read some of your previous journal entries prior to this one. =) I can't believe you're having to wait so long, Daniel. Oddly enough, and illogical as it seems, the state you reside in has something to do with it. I've noticed that if one lives in the southern states, it takes forever and day to get approved, if you get approved. I live in California, and it took less than a year and I, like you, didn't have a treating physician. I still don't. I have had one review in 10 years. I got a 5 question questionnaire from SS in early 2006 asking about my current condition, which I filled out and returned. I'd been expecting that form for almost a year since they generally review you ever 3 years. About 3 months later I received a letter from them letting me know that they didn't need to contact my physican after all. That's the last I've heard from them, and I would think after 10 years they've pretty much decided I'm on SSD for good.

I have a friend who's site you might enjoy. It's [link]. His essays are great. He's shown me a whole new world. One in where, what happens to us isn't as important as how we move through it. My personal philosophy is that God is inside me, as god. We can perform miracles you know, but it's more than believing we can. I've learned that one has to know one can, without having to stop and think about it. When we think, it gives us time to doubt.

After reading your past journal entries, I still don't know what your diagnosis is. Or what goes on with you on a daily basis. I know you're tired. Oh and hey...don't fret too much over it taking 4 tries to spell disability; normal people don't have much on you! :D
djeaton3162 Featured By Owner May 3, 2008  Hobbyist Digital Artist
My local SS office has a 29-month backlog of cases, the worst in the country (or so I am told). As far as my diagnosis, I have POTS, Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (see and hypovolemia caused by nerve demyelination...with just enough peripheral neuropathy thrown in to make my life interesting. :)
TearsAndThunder Featured By Owner May 3, 2008
Well, you know what they say...variety is the spice of life. =)

A 29-month waiting period at your local office? God DJ, where do you live? You need to move to another state, because that's insane!!!
djeaton3162 Featured By Owner May 3, 2008  Hobbyist Digital Artist
It's the Atlanta office. You can read all about the problem at [link] . And moving would not help. The SSDI benefit isn't as much as the long-term disability insurance I had through my employer...which only picks up the difference between SSDI and 50% of my salary. When I do get SSDI, almost all of it will go to that insurance company. All I get is any of the benefits for the 7 months that I was still on short-term disability and any "family" benefit amount. As such, moving would be a huge stress on me, make things worse, and not really benefit me on a monthly financial basis.
TearsAndThunder Featured By Owner May 5, 2008
I rather figured you lived in the south. Considering that SSDI is a federal program, I find it odd that how quickly one receives their benefits, if they receive them at all, varies so much from state to state. The south really seems to be harsh on approving claims. That's the only reason I suggested you move, and it was meant mostly in jest.

That insurance company is going to get the bulk of your 'back' benefits? Oh that sucks big, big time.

I'll keep a good thought for you. =)
djeaton3162 Featured By Owner May 5, 2008  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Yeah. The fine print of the policy says that it covers 50% of my salary *after* any other benefits. But it only covers any personal benefits (not any family benefits) and only after my long-term disability started. There will be 7 months or so of benefits before that and since I have a wife and two kids under 18, the family benefits might add up to something...just in time for my son to start college. LOL
(1 Reply)
johnnybg Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2008
All of my energy + for you Daniel. :hug:
xero-sama Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2008  Professional Digital Artist
Oh my... prayers are coming your way...
baba49 Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2008  Hobbyist Digital Artist
This all sounds very awfull. Danile I hope that by now you had some good news :hug:
faded-ink Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2008
Sending you all of my best thoughts and wishes, Daniel. Hopefully everything will work out and the insurance company will back down from this stance. Take care of yourself, sweetie. :hug:

And totally OT, but thank you so much for all the :+fav:s you've given me over the past few months. I appreciate them all. :)
scootnoodles Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2008
:peace: :heart: :pray:
ccdigitalfx Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2008  Hobbyist Digital Artist
More positive energy and thoughts coming your way !!
Rozrr Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2008  Professional Digital Artist
My God Daniel. I am so sorry. You will be in my thoughts. Please tell me if there is anything I can do...

Here in the UK we don't have anything like that, all health care is free and really very good. As I am over 60 I don't have to pay for anything. There is a National Insurance that everyone pays throughout their working lives if they can afford to. It is stopped at source from your wage. However even if you haven't paid it you still get the free care, as does anyone coming to live here who has never paid a penny.

I think the US system need a complete overhaul. I have heard so many devastating stories.

Love Roz XX
slobo777 Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2008  Hobbyist Digital Artist
What a disgusting, weaselly insurance company!

Hopefully it's just the junior staff there "following the rules", and it can be made better with a doctor's note or a lawyer's if necessary.

Best wishes!
a2j3 Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2008
Hi Daniel, sorry to hear your having insurance problems again as well as other horrific problems. I will definitely keep you in my thoughts and :pray: Just know you are not alone even when sometimes it may seem like it. Great big :hug:'s go out to you and your family.
MarielFoster Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2008  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Gosh Daniel.... this is just terrible. You are in my thoughts and prayers to be sure. Live in the moment and keep your hope close to you. Does your illness have a support group? I had to deal with an insurance company a few years ago that did not want to pay for my home treatment even though it was cheaper than getting it from the doctor over the long haul. The national association for my problem was most helpful in putting forth the argument with my insurer.
FracFx Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2008  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Still hounding him for you :+favlove:
Maybe you can try Essiac Herbal Tea, an Ancient Indian recipe for ailments (and I believe the cure for cancer if caught in time), available at your local health food store, the downside is it isn't cheap and you're in a financial bind like most of the rest of us.
I take care of a cancer patient in my home, Doctors gave him 6mos. to live. That was 2 years ago and I think he's lasted this long due to me giving him that tea all the time.
I'll send my prayers up for you, keep the faith m8!
Arialgr Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2008  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Maybe if they can treat your mom, they can find a treatment for you. (I know it's a long shot but it is a silver lining, however small). :hug:
live2b Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2008
Another case of 'corporate greed'!! I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Just remember..............The Lord doesn't make mistakes!!!
terrye634 Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2008   Digital Artist
:pray: :heart: :hug:
an-xperience Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2008  Professional General Artist
LadyLyonnesse Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2008
I'll keep you in my prayers, Daniel. Just take good care of yourself and your family.
SuicideBySafetyPin Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2008  Hobbyist Digital Artist
all the positive energy i have i am sending your way!
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Submitted on
April 23, 2008